What can gratitude give you? A 25% increase in happiness according to University of California Psychology Professor Dr. Robert Emmons and author of the book, Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.
In his book, which outlines strategies for cultivating thankfulness, Dr. Emmons talks about his research on gratitude’s effects: “We have discovered that a person who experiences gratitude is able to cope more effectively with everyday stress, may show increased resilience in the face of trauma-induced stress, and may recover more quickly from illness and benefit from greater physical health.” He says that gratitude is one of the few things that can change people’s lives in a measurable way.
Although the benefits of practicing gratitude are clear, when stressful things happen such as a job loss or diagnosis of an illness, people tend to think more negatively. It’s harder to see the good that exists around them. But, in its simplest form, gratefulness can have a person shift from self-defeating thoughts into appreciative ones and take him or her out of oneself and into the moment.
Also, in trying times, it’s even more important to use gratitude as a tool to help a person focus on what is working in life, and how they can cope with what’s happened now. For example a response to a job loss can be, “I am angry and hurt that I lost my job, but I am grateful for my supportive family and the home that I still own.” This has the person become more present and look forward instead of dwelling on what happened. It doesn’t mean that the person should stop grieving the loss, but that, most importantly, there exists a choice in how the loss is played out.
Here are some ways to practice gratitude in tough times.
Be Grateful and Make a Top 100 List
Are there 20, 30, 50 things a person can be grateful for? Try 100! This could be easy for some people, but for other’s a little more difficult, especially in tough times. Start to think about things that you might be taking for granted like the singing birds outside, a warm bed, a hot cup of coffee, the unconditional love of a child. Abundance exists everywhere, it’s just a matter of a people opening their eyes to life’s simple pleasures.
Stop Complaining for 21 Days
Complaining feels good, right? But when complaining becomes habitual, this creates negativity that attracts even more negativity. Soon a person can be wallowing in self-pity, victimization, anger, discontent, and unnecessary stress.
Pastor Will Bowen, from the Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, wrote the book, “A Complaint Free World: How to Stop complaining and Enjoy the Life You Always Wanted.” His book developed from an experiment, where he asked his congregation to form a habit of gratitude by not complaining for 21 consecutive days, the amount it takes to form a new habit according to psychologists. He passed out purple bracelets and said to the church members that if they slipped and complained during the 21 day time period, then they had to move the bracelet to the other wrist.
Over 6 million people in more than 80 countries have participated in the Pastor’s Complaint Free challenge. Many inspiring stories have resulted having to do with people’s health, relationships, career, and life.
Uncover a Hidden Opportunity
How many times has a person experienced a positive life changing outcome from something bad that occurred? In troubling times, look for an opportunity that may exist, yet may not be so obvious. For example, a job loss can present all kinds of fears, however perhaps it can also be a time for people to reinvent themselves, and change course to be more fulfilled in work. Take a good hard look to see how an unfortunate situation can turn positive, or even be the positive change of a lifetime.
Give Thanks Every Day
Express thanks and appreciation to loved ones and to strangers every day. People often are so engrossed in the daily routines and obligations that they can miss golden opportunities to make a difference in someone’s life by saying something as simple as, “Thanks!”
People who might be in need of some thankfulness are teachers, postmen, bankers, waitresses, a friend or family member who is always supportive, and even a co-worker who is constantly lending a hand. Now is the time to express thanks to the people that help make life easier, who are supportive, and who provide encouragement and love.
Look at Each Day as a Gift
As Oprah Winfrey once said, “It's not easy being grateful all the time. But it's when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you." Recognizing each day as a gift is the first step toward living a life of gratitude.
Before the day begins is an excellent time to reflect on all there is to be grateful for. This starts the day with a fresh perspective and with feelings of hope, peace and happiness.
A video from the website Gratefulness.org called, “A Good Day” with Brother David Steindl-Rast is a must see to truly understand that each day a person is alive is a gift and as Brother David says, “the only appropriate response to this gift is gratefulness.”
Resources on Gratitude:
Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness (Dr. Robert Emmons).
Gratefulness.org (“A Good Day” video with Brother David Steindl-Rast).
Stacey Porto - Stacey Porto, CC is a certified life, career and business coach, graduating from the Life Purpose Institute of San Diego, CA. She has a ...
Join the Conversation